Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
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we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
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The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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