So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
