elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
