Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I am available for nakedness
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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