He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Come back. Shots need mouths.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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