so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
