a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
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She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
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Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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