Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Come share oat with me in your robe
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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