Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
handjob tips. give me some.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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