Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
