fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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