So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
and she was petting her beer can
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
