weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
