We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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