you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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