just come out here and I will go home with you...
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
