Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
not ubering you a puppy
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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