uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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