We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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