I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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