don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
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