careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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