love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
This is my gift to your gina
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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