Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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