are you so shy because you have an std?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
