Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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