he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
