At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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