I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
