weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My dick has a subreddit
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
