sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize