I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
