omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
