I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
