So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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