i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
