my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
