I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
