her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize