What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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