The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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