he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
