worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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