I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
