Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize