just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
