She said her name was "party"
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
sarcasm needs its own font
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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