Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
