was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
