Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
