i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
