I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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