Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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