Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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