very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
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Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
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never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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