no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
they need to just BURY HIM!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
